Letters to Bennett #1- People aren’t against you, they are for themselves.

This post is part of a series called “Letters to Bennett”, which is all about recording advice for my new grandson to read as he grows up. I’m excited to write this series because I’ve kept a list of stuff I want my kids and grandkids to know for years. This list is made up of hard-earned life lessons and I don’t want the wisdom to go to waste.

Bennett,

Throughout your life you’re going to encounter people whose behavior is going to convince you they are out to get you. They may tell lies to you or about you. They may accuse you of doing something you didn’t do. After a while it will be easy to think there are people who want you to fail and they sit around thinking of ways to make your life miserable. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret you need to remember,

People aren’t against you, they are for themselves

Bennett, people are self-centered. You are. I am, We all are. Every person walking the planet has the same favorite topic they like to talk about, themselves. BTW, remember this when you’re trying to make small talk with a stranger. Just ask them questions about themselves then sit back and listen.

Anyway, all of those people you think are out to get you, don’t have the time to ruin your life. They’ve got their hands full paying the bills, getting the kids to soccer practice and doing enough at work to not get fired. In other words, life has given them all they can handle. They don’t have enough excess bandwidth to spend time plotting against you.

So don’t worry about what people think about you. Refuse to waste even one second agonizing over someone else’s opinion of you.  Instead focus on becoming the best version of you. That means living out what Dr. Phil McGraw said about this:

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.” 

Love, 

Saba

The 5 Types of Employees No Boss Wants

Being a boss can be a great job. You give people a way to provide for their families. You get to help team members improve so they’ll have opportunities for better jobs in the future. There’s not a downside.

Except when you end up with one of these types of employees. Any of these types of employees are enough to make you dread going to work and also seeing them walk towards your desk.

Here are the 5 Types of Employees No Boss Wants

#1 Confrontational

This is the guy who is always looking for a reason to argue about something. Anything. Everything. Especially if he thinks someone else is getting a benefit that he’s not getting.

He will also confront you over any imagined disrespect. He’ll parse your emails until he can concoct a theory of how you disrespected him.

#2 Know-it-all

There is nothing they don’t know. NOTHING. And don’t even think about challenging their expertise.

#3 No solutions, just problems

This guy comes to the boss anytime there is something even slightly out of the norm. There’s nothing wrong with that except he never has a suggestion for how to solve the problem.

#4 Perpetual Victim

This guy has never made a mistake or poor decision. It’s always someone else’s fault or they were the victim of circumstances beyond their control. The victim thinks nobody else at work likes them. And God forbid the boss offers feedback, it’s only because he’s threatened by the victim.

#5 “I should be the boss”

This guy will tell everyone who will listen how he should be the boss and the boss should be the janitor. What’s interesting is he has all of the answers, but only after the fact.

Do any of these sound familiar?

 

PS

Thanks to my buddy Rick Howerton for the inspiration

Read Good Books, Ask Great Questions, Listen with Intensity

I’ve interviewed over 100 guys for various podcasts I’ve done over the last few years. They’ve come from all walks of life; College football coaches, best-selling authors, multi-millionaire businessmen and more. All of these guys are successful and I want to know how they became successful.

One day it dawned on me that I had learned the secret of their success, never stop learning.

Men have to keep learning if they want to keep from falling behind other men. Because if they do, they won’t be able to take advantage of opportunities to provide a better life for their families.

So I want to let you know the three learning 3 strategies I’ve learned from the guys on the podcast.

#1 Read Good Books

One of the saddest stats I’ve ever run across is that 64% of women will read one book in a year but only 45% of men will.

One book? 65% of all men can’t find the time to read one, stinking book in a year? Think about that. The average book is between 320 and 350 pages long. That means, a guy only has to read one page per day to get through a book in a year. One page. Or less than 5 minutes.

Too many men ignore the massive amount of information they can access by reading books and instead waste time doing constant cycles of trial and error, when one good book could save them years of frustration.

There’s a book out there to teach you everything from how to take care of your car to how to invest your money. All for about $20. What a bargain.

Bonus tip: Read biographies if you want to accelerate your development as a man. Here are a few of my favorite;

-Steve Jobs by Walter Issacson

-Ben Franklin: An American Life by Walter Issacson

-Sam Walton Made in America- by Sam Walton with John Hue

-Zig by Zig Ziglar

-Elon Musk by Ashlee Vance

#2 Ask Great Questions

Wise men love to answer questions. The best use of $50 for you may be buying a wise man a meal and asking him a few questions. But here’s a pro-tip, have 5 questions ready before the meeting. Every better is to send him the questions beforehand, so he has time to think about great answers.

When a successful man realizes you took the time to come up with great questions, he’ll know you’re a serious guy. That’s important because successful men have a common trait, they hate wasting time, especially on a guy who is looking for a handout or a shortcut so they can avoid doing any hard work.

What makes a question great?

  • It takes more than a “yes” or “no” to answer

  • It gives the other guy the opportunity to answer a question you didn’t know to ask

  • It focuses on revealing principles that can be applied to multiple situations

I’ll give you the three questions I ask every guy who comes on my podcast as examples

  1. What has surprised you the most in life?

  2. Who taught you the most about being a man and what did they teach you?

  3. What advice would you give to 18-year old you?

#3 Listen with Intensity

I had never done an interview when I started my first podcast so I had to learn fast. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the key to being a great interviewer was listening with intensity. You have to stay focused because those golden nuggets can come when you least expect them. Same thing with teaching moments in your life. You never know when you’re going to hear something that will make you money or help you avoid a catastrophe. That’s why you should learn how to listen and not just hear.

Here are some stats on that show how important listening is:

* A person hears between 20 and 30,000 words every 24 hours

* 55% of communication is devoted to listening

* The average man retains approximately 17% of what he hears

After over 100 interviews, here’s what I’ve learned about listening with intensity:

  1. Pay attention to what is being said instead of coming up with what you’re going to say.

  2. Don’t interrupt

  3. Ask follow up questions

But I think the best tip to listening with intensity is you have to believe the more you listen, the smarter you become.

There you go, start incorporating these 3 strategies into your life and you’ll never have to worry about being ready when opportunity strikes.

PS

My current podcast is called Playbook for Men and you can check it out by clicking here. It’s also available wherever you listen to podcasts.

A front porch is the perfect place to think, make a decision, or pray

It’s mid-September in North Alabama so that means it’s the perfect weather to sit on my front porch. 

I love front porches. 

The house I grew up in was a two-story antebellum with massive front and back porches. An angry tornado destroyed it in 1974 along with much of the area I called home but I still remember the front porch. The time I spent sitting in a rocking chair playing the game you used to amuse yourself with when you lived on a forty-acre farm far from your friends but in front of Hwy 72, you counted cars. The rules are simple, you pick a color and the other person picks a color then you start counting how many cars pass by that are your color. 

Sidebar; this game is much better if it’s male vs male or female vs female. The reason is most guys can only name about 8 colors so it’s pretty simple to determine if a car is your color. While ladies know about colors like seafoam or periwinkle. Which causes more time spent debating what color a car was than actually counting cars.

But that’s another story for another day. 

That house might be where my fascination with front porches began but I developed the love of them when we lived in Tuscaloosa. Our house had a huge wrap-around front porch with a swing. I got to spend some good time in that swing with my daughters and my wife talking about life, laughing and just hanging out. I have lots of good memories from that front porch.

I also learned that a front porch is a great place to think when we lived in that house. Especially when you’ve got trouble. Dark nights and a front porch are a great combination to help a guy figure out what went wrong and if it can be fixed. 

It’s also a great place to make decisions. I’ve spent dozens of hours sitting and thinking on a front porch. Sometimes doing what John Wayne said he was doing in one of my favorite movies “McLintock”, some “thinking drinking”. Pondering what to do next or figuring out what not to do. Which is really the most important decision. Most mistakes I’ve made are because I ignored the little voice inside me that said, “let it go”.

But a front porch might find its highest value to me as a confessional. A place where I’ve talked to God, yelled at God, begged for God’s forgiveness and cried as I tried to comprehend the depth of His love for me. 

I’ve started most mornings on my front porch reading scripture and pondering what it means to be a fully devoted follower of Jesus. Some days I get closer to that goal than others but every day that starts like that is infinitely better than the days that don’t.

Front porches can be found all over the world. From big houses on the banks of a river to stoops on a brownstone in New York City, but I like to think we southerners have elevated the activity of sitting on front porches to an art form. I know my best days are when I can begin and end them on a front porch.

Turns out, it’s also a great place to write stories like this. 

A Message to Garcia

1899

A Message to Garcia

By Elbert Hubbard

In all this Cuban business there is one man stands out on the horizon of my memory like Mars at perihelion.  When war broke out between Spain & the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia was somewhere in the mountain vastness of Cuba–no one knew where. No mail nor telegraph message could reach him. The President must secure his cooperation, and quickly.

What to do!

Some one said to the President, “There’s a fellow by the name of Rowan will find Garcia for you, if anybody can.”

Rowan was sent for and given a letter to be delivered to Garcia. How “the fellow by the name of Rowan” took the letter, sealed it up in an oil-skin pouch, strapped it over his heart, in four days landed by night off the coast of Cuba from an open boat, disappeared into the jungle, & in three weeks came out on the other side of the Island, having traversed a hostile country on foot, and delivered his letter to Garcia, are things I have no special desire now to tell in detail.

The point I wish to make is this: McKinley gave Rowan a letter to be delivered to Garcia; Rowan took the letter and did not ask, “Where is he at?” By the Eternal! there is a man whose form should be cast in deathless bronze and the statue placed in every college of the land. It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this and that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies: do the thing- “Carry a message to Garcia!”

General Garcia is dead now, but there are other Garcias.

No man, who has endeavored to carry out an enterprise where many hands were needed, but has been well nigh appalled at times by the imbecility of the average man- the inability or unwillingness to concentrate on a thing and do it. Slip-shod assistance, foolish inattention, dowdy indifference, & half-hearted work seem the rule; and no man succeeds, unless by hook or crook, or threat, he forces or bribes other men to assist him; or mayhap, God in His goodness performs a miracle, & sends him an Angel of Light for are sitting now in your office- six clerks are within call.

Summon any one and make this request: “Please look in the encyclopedia and make a brief memorandum for me concerning the life of Correggio”.

Will the clerk quietly say, “Yes, sir,” and go do the task?

On your life, he will not. He will look at you out of a fishy eye and ask one or more of the following questions:

Who was he?

Which encyclopedia?

Where is the encyclopedia?

Was I hired for that?

Don’t you mean Bismarck?

What’s the matter with Charlie doing it?

Is he dead?

Is there any hurry?

Shan’t I bring you the book and let you look it up yourself?

What do you want to know for?

And I will lay you ten to one that after you have answered the questions, and explained how to find the information, and why you want it, the clerk will go off and get one of the other clerks to help him try to find Garcia- and then come back and tell you there is no such man. Of course I may lose my bet, but according to the Law of Average, I will not.

Now if you are wise you will not bother to explain to your “assistant” that Correggio is indexed under the C’s, not in the K’s, but you will smile sweetly and say, “Never mind,” and go look it up yourself.

And this incapacity for independent action, this moral stupidity, this infirmity of the will, this unwillingness to cheerfully catch hold and lift, are the things that put pure Socialism so far into the future. If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? A first-mate with knotted club seems necessary; and the dread of getting “the bounce” Saturday night, holds many a worker to his place.

Advertise for a stenographer, and nine out of ten who apply, can neither spell nor punctuate- and do not think it necessary to.

Can such a one write a letter to Garcia?

“You see that bookkeeper,” said the foreman to me in a large factory.

“Yes, what about him?”

“Well he’s a fine accountant, but if I’d send him up town on an errand, he might accomplish the errand all right, and on the other hand, might stop at four saloons on the way, and when he got to Main Street, would forget what he had been sent for.”

Can such a man be entrusted to carry a message to Garcia?

We have recently been hearing much maudlin sympathy expressed for the “downtrodden denizen of the sweat-shop” and the “homeless wanderer searching for honest employment,” & with it all often go many hard words for the men in power.

Nothing is said about the employer who grows old before his time in a vain attempt to get frowsy ne’erdo-wells to do intelligent work; and his long patient striving with “help” that does nothing but loaf when his back is turned. In every store and factory there is a constant weeding-out process going on. The employer is constantly sending away “help” that have shown their incapacity to further the interests of the business, and others are being taken on. No matter how good times are, this sorting continues, only if times are hard and work is scarce, the sorting is done finer- but out and forever out, the incompetent and unworthy go.

It is the survival of the fittest. Self-interest prompts every employer to keep the best- those who can carry a message to Garcia.

I know one man of really brilliant parts who has not the ability to manage a business of his own, and yet who is absolutely worthless to any one else, because he carries with him constantly the insane suspicion that his employer is oppressing, or intending to oppress him. He cannot give orders; and he will not receive them. Should a message be given him to take to Garcia, his answer would probably be, “Take it yourself.”

Tonight this man walks the streets looking for work, the wind whistling through his threadbare coat. No one who knows him dare employ him, for he is a regular fire-brand of discontent. He is impervious to reason, and the only thing that can impress him is the toe of a thick-soled No. 9 boot.

Of course I know that one so morally deformed is no less to be pitied than a physical cripple; but in our pitying, let us drop a tear, too, for the men who are striving to carry on a great enterprise, whose working hours are not limited by the whistle, and whose hair is fast turning white through the struggle to hold in line dowdy indifference, slip-shod imbecility, and the heartless ingratitude, which, but for their enterprise, would be both hungry & homeless.

Have I put the matter too strongly? Possibly I have; but when all the world has gone a-slumming I wish to speak a word of sympathy for the man who succeeds the man who, against great odds has directed the efforts of others, and having succeeded, finds there’s nothing in it: nothing but bare board and clothes.

I have carried a dinner pail & worked for day’s wages, and I have also been an employer of labor, and I know there is something to be said on both sides. There is no excellence, per se, in poverty; rags are no recommendation; & all employers are not rapacious and high-handed, any more than all poor men are virtuous.

My heart goes out to the man who does his work when the “boss” is away, as well as when he is at home. And the man who, when given a letter for Garcia, quietly take the missive, without asking any idiotic questions, and with no lurking intention of chucking it into the nearest sewer, or of doing aught else but deliver it, never gets “laid off,” nor has to go on a strike for higher wages. Civilization is one long anxious search for just such individuals. Anything such a man asks shall be granted; his kind is so rare that no employer can afford to let him go. He is wanted in every city, town and village- in every office, shop, store and factory. The world cries out for such: he is needed, & needed badly- the man who can carry a message to Garcia.

4 Courses that Should be Taught in School

What?

The cost for the average college degree is $122,000

Yep, you read that right, $122,000. That’s a lot of money. Especially when it costs the same to take Economics as it does elective classes like Intro to kayaking. That’s highway robbery and proof that the higher education system in America is broken.

But that’s another rant for another day.

But what if colleges and universities offered elective classes that actually prepared students for real life? Taught them some skills they will need to survive and thrive.

Paying for classes like that might go down easier than these classes that actually exist:

  • Demystifying the Hipster at Tufts University, Medford, MA
  • Patternmaking for dog garments at Fashion Institute of Technology, N.Y.
  • Juggling at Reed College, Portland, Oregon
  • The sociology of Miley Cyrus at Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs, N.Y.

AND NUMBER ONE

How to watch television at Montclair State University, Montclair, N.J.

So What?

The problem with classes like this is not that they are bad, they’re just worthless. It’s hard to imagine how a man would be better prepared to be a great welder or engineer because he took The sociology of Miley Cirus. The course is a waste of time. The only person who benefits from it is the professor who wrote the text that no one else bought but his students are required to.

Now What?

Here are four classes I think should be taught in college

  1. Money Management

This class is first on the list because there is a direct correlation between how you handle money and your attitude about the world and life in general. Men need to know the sooner they get serious about managing money, the less stressful their life will be.

Every guy needs to learn how to manage money or as Dave Ramsey says, learn how to tell their money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

Main objectives of this course:

  • Learn the importance of emergency funds and how to start one
  • Develop a spending plan, AKA budget instead of crossing your fingers and hoping you’ve got enough money in your account when it’s time pay the rent
  • Learn how to make compound interest your friend instead of your enemy
  1. Taxes

One of my favorite episodes of “That 70’s Show” is when Jackie gets her first paycheck. She looks at the check then goes to the manager and says “I don’t know who FICA is but that bitch stole like 10% of my money.” As the old saying goes, the only sure-things in life are death and taxes, so every man needs to know about them.

There’s a bonus to taking the class, nothing will influence how you vote more than what you know about taxes.

Main objectives of this course:

  • Know how the government spends your taxes
  • Learn how to fill out a tax return
  • Know the difference between tax avoidance (highly recommended) and tax evasion (a felony and something to steer clear of).
  1. Time Management 

Managing money may be number 1 on this list, but the truth is time is the most valuable asset you have. Every man gets 168 hours per week but some guys get so much done, it’s like they got extra hours. They don’t, they just know how to manage their 168 hours.

Main objectives of this course:

  • Develop the skills necessary to stay productive when there’s no one looking over your shoulder, like working from home
  • Learn how often should you step away from the internet, social media and YouTube
  • Know the difference between taking a break (highly recommended) and procrastination (which will get you fired)
  1. Car Maintenance 

As you’ve probably figured out by now, a car is the second-largest purchase most men will ever make, so you need to know how to take care of it. The good news is most cars are so well built, you can easily put 100,000 miles on one and it will still be as reliable as when it was new. You don’t have to spend hours every week working on your car, there are just a few basic maintenance items you need to stay on top of.

The main objectives of this course:

  • Learn The ONE task that can either make your car last longer or wear out way before it’s time; oil changes. Most cars made in the last few years only require changing the oil every 10,000 miles so there’s no excuse to let this one slide,
  • Understand that rotating your tires every 5k miles takes 30 minutes but will help your tires will last twice as long.
  • Learn how to keep your car clean.

Now What?

Can you imagine what teaching those four classes to every college student would do? There would be fewer men wasting this lives, going broke, getting fired or being stranded on the side of the road because they didn’t put oil in their car and the engine blew up.

In other words, we’d have a generation of men prepared to get a job, start a family, and then begin making the world a better place for all of us.

PS

I’m always looking for ideas to write about. If you’ve got a topic you want me to cover, leave a comment or send me an email at dee@252men.com.

 

The C’s That Make a Real Man

A hot topic on social media is the question “what defines a real man”?

A lot of very loud voices are saying it doesn’t even matter because men are the enemy. But just because they are loud doesn’t mean they are the majority. According to a recent article in the New York Post it’s just the opposite. Most women are looking for what I could call a real man.

from the article “It’s a mismatch between what progressive women say they want and what they actually respond to,” Miller told me. “Women’s instinctive mate preferences have evolved for hundreds of thousands of years for guys who are competent, strong, good providers, good protectors and happy with a sexual division of labor,” he added. Women want “decisive men who are also compassionate and thoughtful.”

So what do I mean when I talk about a real man? What are the traits all real men have? These 5 C”s

Character

Don’t confuse character with reputation. Your reputation is what people think you are. Character is what you are when no one else is looking. This means you’re the only person who knows if you have high character or not. The guy you shave with is giving you a character assessment every  day.

Chemistry

Do you try to get along with the people in your life? Are you a good neighbor, a good coworker, a good boss, are you working to be part of your community? A real man is looking to be part of a team because he wants to add value to the people he’s around.

Competence

Are you good at your job? Are you working to get better? A real man takes pride in the quality of his work

Courage

Colonel Art Athens taught me this definition of courage, “will you make tough decisions even if it cost you personally?” A real man is not afraid to make a tough decision. He also doesn’t put how the decision will impact him at the top of the list of considerations when he’s making a decision.

Compassion

This means every time I look at another person, I ask myself one, simple question, “What’s best for them?” in the current situation. Do I respond or ignore, do I confront or extend grace? That’s compassion.

Those 5 C’s are what makes a real man. And these 5 C’s are what’s on my checklist to evaluate how I’m doing as I work to become a real man and they will help you too.

 

Is Compound Interest Your Ally or Adversary?

Is compound interest your friend or enemy? Ally or adversary?

“Compound interest is the Eighth Wonder of the World. He who understands it earns it; he who doesn’t, pays it.”

This quote is attributed to Albert Einstein, even though it’s not a slam dunk he actually said it. But the point is valid. Compound interest can either be your friend or enemy.

Here’s what it looks like when compound interest is your enemy:

Let’s imagine you buy a TV for $1000 using a credit card that has a 24% interest rate. Then let’s assume you don’t buy anything else with that credit card, so now you’ve got a balance of $1000. Based on the 24% interest, you’ll be charged $240 in interest over twelve months or $20 per month.

Now let’s see how compound interest becomes your enemy. When it’s time to pay back the $1000 plus interest, you realize the credit card company is not your friend so they will get their money first. That means when you make your minimum payment (most cards define this as 1% of the balance plus the monthly interest due on the balance), the majority of that money goes towards the interest.

That means every single month you’ll pay close to $20 in interest, but your total balance is reduced by less than $10. This means if you only paid the minimum payment, it would take 125 months to pay it off and you would pay $1,332 in interest. Remember the tv only cost $1000!

That’s how compound interest is your enemy. Now let’s see how it can be your friend.

You’ve probably heard this example because it works. I’ll give you 2 choices. The first is I’ll give you a million dollars and you can walk away. Choice number 2 is I’ll give you a penny today, then double the amount every day for 30 days. What would you choose? A lot of people would take the million but that would be a mistake. Like a $3 million dollar mistake. Because if you took choice number 2, you’d have over $4 million dollars at the end of 30 days

Ok, it’s tough to find an investment that doubles every day so let’s look at a more realistic scenario.

Let’s say you saved $1000 a year from age 25 to 34 in an investment account earning 8% a year and not a penny more. Your $10,000 investment would be worth $157,435 by the time you were 65.

Now let’s say you don’t start saving $1,000 a year until you’re 35. But you do it for 30 years for a total investment of $30,000. Even though you invested $20,000 more you’d only have $122,346 by age 64. $35,000 less!

That’s how powerful giving your friend Mr. Compound Interest lots of time to work can be.

So now you see the importance of making compound interest your friend. But how? Three steps

  1. Pay cash for everything
  2. Pay yourself first every time you get paid
  3. Have $2,000 in cash you can put your hands quickly

This puts you in a place where you can put Mr. Compound Interest to work for you instead of letting him take your money.

Pay Attention to Who and What you Listent To

Do you love Donald Trump or loathe him?

Are you a conservative or a progressive politically?

No matter how you answered, have you ever thought about how you got the opinions and beliefs you have? And are they permanent or do they change? And if they do change, what causes the change, time or is it based on who and what you listen to?

This is a good topic for men to think about because we’re not nearly as logical as we think we are. The truth is men make most decisions based on emotion then search until they find facts to justify them. And that’s why you need to think about how much the emotions we use to make decisions are shaped by what we listen to and who we listen to.

Gary Vaynerchuk posted this set of Apple EarPods he autographed for a fan.

 

 

This idea isn’t original to Gary Vaynerchuk, a guy named Solomon was trying to teach this to his son a few thousand years ago:

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”

Proverbs‬ ‭13:20‬ ‭NLT‬‬‬‬‬‬

 

What Solomon and Vaynerchuk are saying is you can control your emotions by controlling who and what you listen to.

Here’s what I’m talking about.

I don’t like Rachel Maddow. Not only are her political beliefs the complete opposite of mine, but her voice is also like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Any time I see her on a screen, even if it’s just a 20 second clip on twitter, I feel myself getting pissed.

So what do I do?

I don’t watch her.

But I still need and want to know what people who think differently than me are saying about an issue. Why? An important part of forming an intelligent opinion about a topic is to examine it from all sides. So there are a few writers and podcasters I check out instead of Rachel Maddow. That way I educate myself without spiking my blood pressure.

BTW, I don’t understand the people who sit around watching someone they hate on TV. It’s like they enjoy being pissed. But that’s an unhealthy way to live. Men are not designed to be perpetually pissed off. It causes high blood pressure, digestive issues, and generally makes you a pain in the butt to be around.

But back to what I was saying.

Now I hear you thinking “This is crap. I make my own decisions, not my emotions. And sometimes I’m in a bad mood because my job sucks, my boss is a jerk, the kids are driving me nuts, and I’m broke. Not because of who I hang out with or what I listen to.”

Ok, you up for a challenge?

Step One

Make a list of the podcasts, radio stations, tv shows, and newscasts you listen to.

Step Two

Write down the names of the people you spend the most time with.

Step Three

Now consider what you think about topics such as:

  • Trump good or Trump Bad
  • Biden good or Biden Bad
  • Masks or no-mask
  • There is a God or there is no God
  • Truth is conditional or truth is absolute
  • Systemic racism is real or not
  • Progressive policies or conservative are the best hope for the future

Now for the experiment. Change what you listen to.

Are you a CNN guy, then switch to Fox? If you listen to Joe Rogan’s podcasts, switch to Ben Shapiro (or my podcast). Switch off talk radio and start listening to music. Hang out with some people you’ve avoided because their politics are different than yours.

Do it for 60 days then come back and answer the questions in step three again.

Did your opinions change? Maybe not totally but I bet your stance has moderated on some topics you once were rock solid on.

My point is not to get you to change what you believe but to understand how critical it is to pay attention to who and what you listen to.

I’m not saying you should only listen to people you already agree with. I want to challenge you to get a balanced diet so you’ll have the facts to form your own opinion.

Here’s some of the ways I get a balanced diet of information. When it comes to reading, I rely on the Scriptures as the only truly reliable source but I augment that with writers like Matt Taib. I spend $10 a month to subscribe to Apple News so I have easy access to a broad range of news and opinions. I read The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Newsweek, AL.com for local news. I listen to the Breaking Points with Krystal and Saagar podcast because one of them is conservative and the other is progressive. I think this gives me all of the information I need to form a intelligent opinion.

To wrap it up, I want you to know that if you want to change who you are now to a better version of yourself over the next few years, keep an eye on who and what you listen to.

 

Obey the Whisper

“those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.”

Nobody knows who said this first but it should resonate with any man who is a follower of Jesus. Men who take their orders from the Holy Spirit will do some stuff that will make his family and friends think he’s crazy. Which makes sense because God spoke to them, not their friends and family.

You can read one story of when God told a guy to do something a lot of people would think is crazy in Genesis 6:

“So God said to Noah, …..“Build a large boat from cypress wood and waterproof it with tar, inside and out. Then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭6:13-14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So Noah built a boat in the middle of the desert just because God told him to. Noah didn’t hear music that nobody else did, he heard God when nobody else did.

Have you ever thought about what Noah’s neighbors were saying while he was working on his giant boat? Here’s a clip from “Evan Almighty”, that’s probably pretty close

 

Or how Noah’s wife reacted? One more clip of how that might go.

 

I’ve had a few experiences like this and I can tell you the closer you walk with God, the more likely some people will think you’re nuts.

One thing I’ve learned is God speaks in a whisper. He doesn’t post it on Facebook or twitter, He whispers.

Why?

Think about what you do when you’re trying to hear someone when they whisper. You lean forward. You turn your head to one side. You block out everything and everybody around you and focus on what they are saying.

I think that’s why God whispers. He wants your undivided attention. In fact, that’s a great way to tell if something is from God. Like what Oswald Chambers wrote

“I know when the proposition comes from God because of its quiet persistence.”

Whispers from God are awesome. Be on the lookout for them. Pay attention to them. Then listen to the whisper because that’s where God-sized dreams begin.

“We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.” Proverbs‬ ‭16:1‬ ‭NLT‬