Bring Back Masculine Men

It would be odd if you went an entire day without reading or hearing a story about how men are the root cause of all the world’s problems. Poverty, homelessness, slow internet speed, you name it and it’s a man’s fault. Most of the stories think it’s because masculinity is bad.

Too many people think the way you make men better is to make them more feminine, because a boy is actually just a defective girl. That’s not it. The way you make men better is to make them more masculine.

Competition, aggression, ambition are masculine elements men are born with and that’s why the push to deprogram these elements out of men will never work. In fact it will be a disaster because it will create weak, passive men. And weak passive men are the most destructive kind of man.

Weak, passive men don’t stand up for those who can’t protect themselves. That’s bad because there are some battles only a man can fight. But if they have been neutuered by culture, the won’t be equipped to fight them.

For years culture has told men to stop being men because being a man is evil. After being told that over and over again, too many men have said “fine, I’ll go play video games and look at porn and forget about finding a woman to court, marry, then build a family with.”

Men won’t start businesses or work to improve current ones because they’ve been told competition is wrong. “Don’t keep score.” “Everybody gets a trophy.” This is a weird way to think to a man because men are wired to win. They want and NEED to get the trophy. They won’t make the sacrifice it takes to become a champion if there is no championship.

What’s the right answer? You harness the competition, aggression and ambition. You teach men how to use those masculine traits for good.

  • Masculine competitiveness can be the difference between a man wasting his life watching other men compete or getting his butt off the couch and competing himself.

  • Masculine aggression can either destroy a friend or defeat a bully like David vs Goliath.

  • Masculine ambition can either come out as Gordon Gecko level greed or it builds a company that makes people’s lives better.

All of these are why the solution isn’t less masculinity, it’s better masculinity.

When men embrace better masculinity the results are as predictable as gravity. Masculine men are warriors and leaders who take responsibility for the people in their lives.

The opposite is also true. When men listen to culture and deny their masculinity you get weak men and the results are catastrophic:

For instance:

Children who grow up without a dad in the home are:

  • More depressed

  • Incarcerated at a higher rate

  • Have more teen pregnancies

  • Have lower household incomes

Still no convinced? 70% of all high school dropouts grew up without a dad in the house.

An honest assessment of the facts reveals the undeniable fact that Dads are critical to raising healthy and successful kids. This isn’t a liberal or conservative point of view. Here’s what former President and then Senator Barack Obama said in 2008

“Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives…family is the most important. And we  are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”

This is why we have to reverse the trend of telling all males they are the problem. We have to stop denying them the opportunity to express their masculinity in healthy ways. We need to bring back playground games like basketball, football, and dodgeball. Let 3rd grade boys run around for 30 minutes during the middle of the school day and you’ll get to watch the makers of ADHD drugs go out of business. The average boy isn’t hyperactive, he’s a male who is starting to produce massive amounts of testosterone that needs to be given an outlet.

The bottom line is we need to bring back masculine men!

Five Classes that Should be Taught in School

Big Idea Worth sharing- too many men are highly educated but unprepared to handle the tasks it takes to live day to day. That’s why schools should teach more practical classes. 

When I was in college I had to take elective courses that were really just ways for the school to extract more tuition and for me to pad my GPA. It never made sense to me the tuition for my Statistics class was the same as Intro to Karate. If colleges are going to require you to take classes that aren’t tied to your major, I think they should help you deal with daily life. That’s why I came up with five classes that should be taught in school.

  1. Money Management

This class is first on the list because there is a direct correlation between how you handle money and your peace of mine. The earlier you get smart about managing money, the less stressful your life will be. 

The main objectives of this course should be: 

  • Learn the importance of savings accounts
  • Develop a spending plan AKA budget that’s based on something other than checking you bank balance once a week.
  • Learn why you need to make compound interest your friend instead of your enemy
  1. Taxes

One of my favorite episodes of “That 70’s Show” is when Jackie gets her first paycheck. She goes to the manager and says “I don’t know who FICA is but that bitch stole like 10% of my money.” As the old saying goes the only sure-things in life are death and taxes, so every man needs to know about them. Also, nothing will influence how you vote more than what you know about taxes. 

The main objectives of this course should be:

  • Know how the government spends your taxes, 
  • Learn how to fill out a tax return
  • Know the difference between tax avoidance (highly recommended) and tax evasion (a felony and something you should never do).
  1. How to behave at a business dinner or holiday party

Parties and dinners are great ways for a man to make contacts and get face time with the bosses. The problem is going to a business dinner is way different than a frat party. There are few rules you need to learn and follow so you don’t get fired the day after the Christmas party. 

The main objectives of this course: 

  • Learn the golden rule of alcohol consumption (never have more than one drink every 45 minutes), 
  • Know how to dress for different social functions
  • Understand why you should never challenge your boss to do shots.
  1. Time Management 

Money may be number 1 on this list, but the truth is time is the most valuable asset you have. Every man gets 168 hours per week and no more. You can’t buy bonus hours. But some men get so much done in a week, it’s like they got extra hours. They don’t, they know it’s all in how you manage your168 hours. 

The main objectives of this course: 

  • Develop the skills necessary to stay productive when there’s no one looking over your shoulder (like working from home), 
  • Learn how often should you step away from the internet, social media and YouTube, 
  • Know the difference between taking a break (highly recommended) and procrastination (will get your fired.)
  1. Car Maintenance 

As you’ve probably figured out by now, a car is the second largest purchase a man will make. The good news is most cars are so good now, you can easily put 100,000 miles on one and it still be as reliable as when it was new. There are just a few basic maintenance items you need to stay on top of.

The main objectives of this course: 

  • Learn The ONE thing guaranteed to make your car last longer or wear out way before it’s time, oil changes. Most cars now only require changing the oil every 10,000 miles so there’s no excuse to let this one slide, 
  • Understand that rotating your tires every 5k miles takes 30 minutes and your tires will last twice as long.
  • Learn how to keep you car clean.

 

Those 5 classes will do more to set up a man for success than these classes I’ve seen people waste their (or their parents) money on :rock climbing, kayaking, or weight lifting and you’ll still get your easy “A”.

Should You Take That New Job?

This is the Playbook for Men Podcast, short answers to the big questions about being a man

This episode’s short answer is to the big question of should you take that new job? 

You know the situation, you’ve got a job and you’re pretty happy with it when suddenly you get a message on LinkedIn from a recruiter. And the next thing you know you’ve got a job offer. Now you’ve got to figure out should you take it

How do you know what to do? Do you take a chance with a new job or do you stay with the known quantity, the job that you’ve had and you know how to do it and everything’s going really really well for you.

These kinds of decisions are when you wish there was a systematic way, a process that you could work through to help you evaluate this new job and whether you should take it or not. I’ve got one for you. You break the decision down into three categories; personal, professional, and pay.

Personal

  1. Are you happy in your current job? Do you like your coworkers? Do you like your boss? Are you fulfilled? Do you get to do work you think is making a difference in the world? 
  2. Are you bored at your current job? It’s just not much of a challenge because you’ve been doing it for so long that it just is really gotten to be routine 
  3. How would the new job impact your quality of life? Things like family time. What would your hours be? Would you be traveling a lot? Would you have the freedom to be able to attend your kids sporting events. 

Professional 

  1. Are there going to be opportunities for promotions where you are or are you kind of tapped out? The people in the job that you’d like to have are still a long way away from retirement so you’re boxed in. 
  2. Maybe you’re considering changing industries or careers. I’ve done that a few times myself and that can be a scary prospect. 
  3. How stable is your current company? Wiith Covid you never know about some companies. Are they going to be able to make it? 
  4. How stable is the new company? Are they a startup of an established company. 

Pay 

  1. Is the salary offer a raise? If so, how much? The general rule of thumb is it needs to be 25% increase to make it worth moving. 
  2. What about benefits? How much do you have to pay for health insurance? Is there 401(k) matching? What about vacation time?
  3. Is there a chance to get equity?
  4. Is there a bonus program? 

After you work through the list and just when you think you’ve made a decision, I want you to STOP and sleep on it. If you wake the next morning and still feel good about your decision, for it!

Don’t look back. Don’t second guess yourself. Be confident you’ve done all you could to make a good decision. If it works out, great and if doesn’t, don’t worry about it. Just take these list rinse, repeat.

You can listen to the audio version by clicking here

What’s In It For You?

You’re busy. Work. Spouse. Kids. Mowing the grass. Cleaning out the gutters.

With all of that, what’s in it for you to be part of the Playbook for Men?

A reasonable question that every guys rightly asks.

The answer is a place where you can get answers to your questions and solutions to your problems.

Not only that, you’ll hear interviews with men who are making a difference. And want you to succeed.

You’re busy so I don’t waste your time. Most answers and solutions are less than 500 words, which means you can probably read them in 5 minutes.

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Why? Because you’re busy